Pretending to be Perfect: The Journey of Applying to B School
By Ida
The day I took the GMAT exam for the first time, I walked out of the testing center in tears. The GMAT was one of the barriers to entry on my quest to get into business school and after an expensive test prep course, months of studying, and a few not-so-bad practice test scores, I nervously sat down to take the exam. I performed so poorly that I left wondering if business school was actually a viable option for me. I took another expensive test prep course and sat for the GMAT 3 more times before I finally landed on a score I could live with but never quite hit my ideal number.
The rest of my business school application story is full of self-doubt, a ridiculous amount of school research and conversations with students and alumni, endless support from my friends and family, great interviews, not-so-great interviews, waitlists, acceptances and everything in between. I doubted myself so much that I intentionally kept my expectations low to soften the blow that I thought was inevitable: total rejection. I thought “Just one school. I just need to get into one school. And if that doesn’t happen, that’s ok too!”
All of this is to say…. I stumbled and doubted a lot but all you will see on the surface according to social media is a bright, shiny acceptance to Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. I am ridiculously proud of myself for what I’ve been able to accomplish with my phenomenal support system but I think it’s equally important to acknowledge the stumbles along the way. And not just to acknowledge them but publicize them. Shout them from the rooftops! I say this because when I look around, I tend to see censored success stories. Heck, I’m guilty of it too!
“I think it’s equally important to acknowledge the stumbles along the way. And not just to acknowledge them but publicize them. Shout them from the rooftops!”
Don’t get me wrong, these success stories are crucial! They excite and inspire hope in readers. Especially for underrepresented minorities who need to see these successes so we know they can be for us too. But for every success story, there are failed projects, rejections, lost jobs, fears, and closed doors. I think it’s important to share all of it. To be able to look up at someone you admire and see their challenges laid bare is to recognize your own insecurities and fears and know that you can succeed despite them. Perfection does not beget success because perfection does not exist.
When chatting with my mentee, I make it a point to share that I don’t know everything. That I’ve made stupid mistakes and done and said the wrong things. That your career is likely not going to be a line of amazing job after amazing job. That your first job out of college isn’t the end all be all and likely won’t be forever. That it’s ok to fail and if you don’t, it probably means you’re not pushing yourself far enough outside your comfort zone.
I’m now excitedly awaiting the beginning of the first semester of my MBA program. I’m thrilled to report that since getting accepted, I’ve interviewed for two pre-MBA opportunities and been rejected by both! WOOO! Sure, it sucks but these opportunities weren’t meant for me right now and I know the right ones will come along. In the meantime, I’ll just be here trying to remember to be kind to myself, work hard, be honest about my journey, and help others along the way.
You can follow Ida on Instagram @IdaYonas.